Types of Self Sabotaging Thoughts
We’ve all been there. We do things that mess things up for us and we don’t know why we did it in the first place. Sometimes we are on a roll, everything is going great and then we do something unexpected which destroys all the progress we made earlier. It seems like a self-fulfilling prophecy for some as they are always setting themselves up for failure.
Many types of self-destructive habits can creep into all areas of our lives at any time. We will sometimes destroy our friendship for no reason. We will then spend countless hours, days, or weeks trying to repair the damage & more often than not, it will be too late to do anything about it.
Some will subconsciously try to wreck their relationships. They will even try to finish their marriage by doing things that no spouse would put up with, in the first place. They will do these things to create conflict and this will lead to arguments and so forth. This will eventually destroy the marriage and the person who initiated all of this will be blissfully unaware as to why they behaved this way.
Self Sabotaging Friendships
We could have found the best best friend in the world but this is not good enough for the self-saboteur. Someone who tries to destroy a friendship without even knowing why is probably looking for a way out of the friendship for some reason. Maybe the person doesn’t think they are good enough for this person, they can’t compete with this person or they don’t feel comfortable around this person’s other friends. The reasons are many but this could all be solved if only the saboteur would show a little self-love.
Self Sabotaging Relationship
Unconsciously sabotaging your close relationships is quite common and most of us will test the boundaries at some stage of the relationship for one reason or another. Some people will have commitment issues and this will be the main reason why they would behave in this way, they secretly want the relationship to end.
However, when someone is constantly trying to end their relationships then this can be a real problem. The question of why we do it is varied, but these things can be fixed in a very short period if only the person who is wrecking their life on purpose will recognize they have a problem.
Psychology Behind Self Sabotaging
Your inner voice is very complex and many psychologists will give you many different answers as to why anyone would want to wreak their own life. For instance, you could be self-sabotaging at work and you don’t even know you’re doing it. So why would you want to destroy your career? Maybe your job sucks or maybe you think the job is uninteresting and you need a challenge. If you think you fall into this category, then don’t waste another minute, start looking for a new job, preferably one that suits you and your needs.
How to Know if You’re Self Sabotaging
Are you a procrastinator? Do you overthink every situation? If so, then you may be destroying your life without even realizing it. If you need to rethink every situation and then come to the conclusion that there is no point in doing it because……then you could fall into the category of self-saboteur.
Do you have long-term goals? If not then why not? If you don’t, then this could be a sure sign that you are undermining yourself at every stage of your life. By identifying these behaviors we can avoid them going forward and this can have a dramatic effect on our life. We will start to see these behaviors arising before any damage is done.
So the next time you’re sitting on the couch just watching TV, realize that your life is passing you by and you need to get up off that couch and start on your long-term life goals. Stop procrastinating and get a POA (Plan Of Action) together and start knocking these items off your list one by one.
How to Stop Self Sabotaging
The first step is to realize that you are responsible for this behavior. Once you accept this uncomfortable truth then you can come up with your plan to stop this behavior or even reverse the damage it has caused. Everyone is different, so each person will know instinctively where and when they caused the damage.
In some cases, the person will know the exact time they should have done something differently and all would have turned out well. In other cases, the person could be constantly setting themselves up for failure, so it may be more difficult to pin down the exact behavior which is causing this problem. If you follow the list below, you should stand a good chance of solving this problem once and for all.
Tips to Stop Self Sabotaging List
- Identify Areas of Your Life Where You think there’s a problem
It should be relatively easy for most of us to identify the areas we keep sabotaging in our lives because deep down we know these areas on a subconscious level. So to solve this once and for all, you’ll need to make a list of all the things you’ve ever wanted in your life and write beside it, another list of the reasons as to why they have never happened. The more truthful you are with yourself on this exercise then the better this process goes.
Once you’ve put together your list of reasons as to why you haven’t accomplished your life goals then you’ll need to meditate on the negative reasons which are preventing you from progressing. Once you start to meditate, you’ll begin to release the negativity and this will lead you to the next step.
- Short Term POA (Plan Of Action)
Now that you’ve removed the negative thoughts which are preventing you from moving ahead in life, it’s time to put together a shortlist of goals that you can accomplish in the not too distant future. These goals, once complete will enable you to move onto the bigger life goals. Make sure these goals are not too difficult, we want them to be winners so that we can feel good about ourselves and make the process of overcoming this destructive behavior a lot easier.
- Subliminal Affirmations
By using affirmations we can enforce our new goals on our subconscious mind. By accessing the subconscious, we can speed up the process a whole lot quicker. When these subliminal affirmations are embedded in music, we listen but will not hear them directly and this is why they work so well, they creep into our subconscious mind which is where the magic happens.
5. One Step at a time
Remember Rome wasn’t built in a day. Stopping undermining yourself can take some time depending on how often you do it. So take your time and don’t worry if you catch yourself out now and again, it’s a natural process.
Time will pass by very quickly once you start to make progress on your goals. Remember, you’ll need to stick to your short-term goals rigidly, you must make them happen to initiate the long-term goals plan.
6. Practice self-love – Love yourself for a change
Practice self-love. Take care of yourself first and everything else will fall into place. When you start loving yourself and who you are, then you won’t wreck this. Think about it, why would you set yourself up for failure if you loved your life.
People who love themselves will put themselves first in most situations. They can come off as being selfish but don’t mind about that. You know that you are not a selfish person & you also know that sometimes to make progress some things will need to change.
You may have noticed other people putting themselves first. They will make excuses as to why they can’t make it out on the night or simply won’t turn up. Remember, you don’t want to come off as rude, you simply want to ensure that your list of goals is being completed.
7. Long Term POA (Plan Of Action)
The most important part of the process is to create your long-term plan. Once you have a definitive plan written down on paper, it’s very difficult to sabotage yourself as you know it will wreck your plan. So, by creating something physical like a written plan, we have moved our thoughts into reality rather than keeping them in our subconscious mind where we can sabotage them at will.
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